Bangor, North Ireland

 Diary entry: 10/27/2011: Lord I woke up. Kay and Melanie are nowon their way to London. I am here alone incredibly sad. I miss them already. Lord please help me with my loneliness. It hurts. I was so happy to be with them they truly brightened my day, gave me new hope and were a delight to be around. I felt comfort at having them near. Kay said that eing with me refreshed her and reminded her of who she was. she said she had a great time with me. I know that I had the best time of all. I laughed till i cried and I got to explore and be free to love and not be concerned about myself but be happy to be communing with my firends. my heart feels a bit cutt out right now. It hurts bad and i really need to write this paper. Lord save me. I feel dreadfully alone. Help. I felt so much life before being with them. o man i need a companion. I can't do this on my own. I am not strong enough. I feel like a sack of bricks heavy and worthless.. (then i went on a walk and read the word of God and just prayed my gushy mushy heart to Jesus) diary continued: wow I read your word and walked about the neighborhood. You had me turn to Hebrews where it tells me u never leave me and never fail me! Thank you Lord. your word lights up my heart so it is alive once more. ¹² So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. ¹³ Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong." Hebrews 12:12-13 " look after one another so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God." 12:15. thank you Lord for your words they are powerful with faith that is only from you and now resides in me. thank you for Nicole gerber, this summer you used her to teach me how to care and love and press through hardship. how to laugh and listen and stand firm and believe in those whom everyone has already given up on. lord lead her forward thank you for the way she touched my life. i was disciplined by God this summerand i came out smiling. It was painful and challenging but I pressed through with endurance blindly swinging and faith in Jesus. My team. Aka Nicole salem, Drew, rebecca, and Tracey. Thank you Jesus for leading me every move because I couldn't move without you. here iam and u say endure this, new challenge to do work that requires lots of reading things that i dont understand,, and not really know what i am doing as i write. But knowing that through discipline. :Go's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening-it is painful! But afterwards there will be a peaceful harvest and right living for those who are trained in his way. " hebrews 12:10-11

 I prayed to see an owl!!! and I did this night! it was magical :))))

 I stand here with the mini wave. listening to how they catch the shells within their motion, creating a sound of wind chimes muted by the voice of the sea.
I stand.
I watch.
Clouds move
Light touches
There is a hush in the ground
I stand here
I declare HERE I AM
Mold ME
move me.
Anchored into a solid ground I cannot be stolen I only can be destined.
Faith is rising
It changes me
Or maybe it stills Me
Put down your tools he says
I have already done it
In this moment I find the use for my hands...
to be held
guided
loved
by Him who formed me.
Devoted I stand.
May this be my Anthem.