Prayer

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'

jeremiah 29:12-13
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you!

Hebrews 4:16
now that we know what we have-Jesus, this grea high priest with ready acces to God-Let's not let it slip through our fingers. we don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. (message version)

Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

John 14:13
and i will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may e glorified in the Son. you may ask me for anything in my name, and i will do it.

James 4:2-3
You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive; because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Philippians 4:6-7
do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 5:3
In the Morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

james 5:13
Is anyone amoung you in trouble? Let them pray...

James 5:16-18
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

Retreat/ Hairstyle

 My name is Havah Bilow and I cut off all my hair.... Why would a girl with such beautiful hair cut it all off!!! what a tremendous waste of hair... no it is not true... i have found a sort of freedom after the cutting of the hair.... i will tell you about that soon.. for now, what was i thinking... this "a sort of cleansing.. a letting go of. protocol. a trusting in the goodness and soveirgnty of God's plan that cannot be muddled up by a freakin hairstyle. It is a statement to myself that i will not create my look in order to gain attention from others, or to be the prettiest i can be in order to capture the eye of every man... instead, i will live with the knowing that it is not about a appearance but rather an essence... it is also me letting go of guys that are not good for me, maybe they are good in their own ways, they are fun, determined, or faithful, yet they are not for me. i need to cut them off from my life like i cut off my hair...u gotta just do it, close your eyes tight and say the words "cut it off"... or " this isnt working.. " i gotta see behind my closed eyes the reality that the effects of these moments are permanent for a season. Pain is permanent for a season... but it is the choices we make within the climax/conflicting times of our lives that determine our outcome. This was well said by Donald Miller in "Blue Like Jazz" when we is describing the outline plot of a story.... the best sellers are the ones with a major conflict... and the end is always the outcome of the choices made within those critical moment.. key word "moments" So this moment of hair chopping of deciding for a singleness in the now is a part of shaping me for my outcome to be a woman of character, independance, and honor. I want to be the one to make the choices in the conflict. I will take responsiility for my choices, my thoughts, my outcomes...BE NOT AFRAID>>> TRUST))WALK)))GO))) DIVE into the water close ur eyes and jump.....

 Lisa and I on the bus to Dundee ready for Jesus to draw us closer to his heart! He gave us some precious moments on this bus. On the way home he lead the conversation into some deep parts of our lives. Where i got to hear about her admiring her mother was a wife and a mother and a woman of strength. I got to know that her family was held together by a strong glue "Jesus" that her mother, in the face of her husband having a brain tumor, was able to comfort Lisa and have grace to see the best in the hard situations. She has a great heart to be a mother and she loves family just like ME OOOO WOW! we are now prayer partners and we are praying for specific people in our lives here at stirling that we might be able to share Jesus with them and watch his handiwork of changing lives! I am so excited about this. ...
anyways now.. post haircut ,, i could have screamed.. yet i sat transfixed as the man Hair dresser uses clippers on my hair. then continued to chop very  often. It was all i could do but ask him simple questions about his life but i really wasnt there. I was fighting with my fears of being unattractive and less worthy. stuff like that. then it was done styled and fabulous. i was tramatized and still breathing. After the surgery i went to deliver toasties with the Christian Union, people texted us and ordered a toastie and asked a question about the Christian union and we made the toasties and delivered. So i went from hair cut to service. in an instant i knew i had to forget about how i looked and serve and be there! It was what i needed. I got to reshape the way i thought once again and talk to people not in order to gain their appreciation but in order to know them and enjoy their company.

 I definalty have the coolest bag... it has a lunch a bible, small notebook, pens, lipgloss, money, id, phones, cameras... i forgot my couch! Ill ring it next time :)

Lisa and I found that the only decent coffee here is in a can and its amazing! SHe is from Northern Ireland and she doesnt really understand how NASTY the coffee in the UK really is.... man it tastes of anti acid build up in the stomach blah... anyways mmm doubleshots they have been my friend sinc July and i am happy to continue the relationship in moderation ;)
THis weekend in Dundee Lisa and I were witnesses to the teachings of an amazing American woman evangelist. She wrote a book about bringing the SAlt of the Earth out of the salt shakers and into the lives of real people. Our goal is to be the SALT of the EARTH! wooo and how do you do that.. really its quit simple, get to know Jesus! ya just HIM .. i want to know his favorite color.. and i think its white and gold jjust like mine.. ahh we are so alike *cough* wishes dreams hopes...
"Our methods (of Evangelism) should flow from the knowing of the beauty of the Gospel"mmm. often we get caught up in WHAT CAN I DO to get people to Christianity... what is wrong with this sentence is I and DO.. who's strength does this show we are leaning on.. our own. self confidence.. we need God dependency forget self confidence our pride is the begining of our demise. Happy are they who know they are not enough... and know he is... and take rest in that>WE R NEEDY for him. we try and find other things to fill that neeeeeeed. but it is still there. you know you CAN be fully satisfied in God? "in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (psalm 16:11) In the book "Desiring God" John Piper describes his philosophy of Christian Hedonism, "the deepest and most enduring happiness is found only in God. Not from God, but in God." (pp.28) wow does this change everything? Basically what i get from this is that every moment I want to be knowing God more, seeking his face, Glorifying him with great joy because that is the reason for living wow.  anyways this conference was about Evangelism and the book i bought there is about desiring God! Ha everytime i go to a conference or something what i get out of it most is not the teaching, the instruction, or anything from the activity itself, what i get is a realization of my need to know Him more, and now it all makes sense that i have been starving for his presence. you can only live off duty and human strength for so long! A highlight of the talk was when she (sori i cant recall the name at this time.. illl find out upon request..) said how being yourself, being honest, consistent, and authentic is the key and of course the Fear of God rather than man...what you fear is what you serve..when we reveal our true selves our struggles our sin it is what draws others to Jesus. not our sin in fact it is the love of Jesus evident in our lives ... the real problem in evangelism is the sin of unbelief. the focus on our gifts... we need a God centered approach to life and the basics come on PRAYER and a dependence on the power of God... if we really know the power that stand behind us we would not be afraid to move... so lets get to know him, and his sweet voice ahhh!!! David knew him that is why he could face a Giant because he didnt see a Giant he saw a man standing against His people,, Goliaths strength is no match for God. What are the Goliaths in our lives? if we knew who Jesus really is would they still be standing in our way to freedom and a fruitful life? Ok now look at people and find the gold in them and tell them... :) I can simply say right now my life is different once again. I actually can see the beauty around me, i never have to search for anything again in my life (besides sources for my papers..) because i HAVE him, my new focus, to know him, i hear him.,, and how am i doing that? reading the word, PRAYING every moment slowing down, and asking questions and of course being faithful in my life, "desiring God" reading that, and fellowship and obeying .. ahhh it all sounds so spiritual it really is very simple, my awareness is magnetized to his essence. boom

Hamish the harry cows wife Heather!!!

more bagpipes yet at the food festival... and you can see themm!

Fairy river talk

Marinda dancing>> o my o my

RIVER of eternal youth

Highland and Isle of SKY

 here we have a wee owl whom is the oldest barn owl in Britain! he is very beautiful and this is where i met my sweet friend from New Zealand!!! I happened to plan this trip to the food festival with about 21 other Americans! We took the bus to the location and we all enjoyed the festivities! we meet people and tried amazing foods!!! then at one point i looked around me and my friends were nowhere to be seen! thats when my New Zealand friend told me my friends had left a bit ago! so i was pretty set back by this discovery. I then walked to the bus in order to see the times for the next trip and cried a bit because it somewhat felt like being left. I get quite sensitive when it comes to people sticking by me and leaving. Anyways i decided to have a good time and ended up helping with the birds and passing out fliers and it ended up that i got to see some scottish dancing, got free food by the vendors i ended up making friends with and I got invited to see the birds fly which is quite expensive! What a marvelous time :) i am thankful for God giving me strength to forgive and move on and really be in the moment and not let set back decide my life! boom baby

 The standing rocks. you know i could tell you all the history i learned as i set foot on all these locations, but the truth is i cannot remember I only remember the sights and the whispers i could hear while i wa there. For example amoung these standing rocks i began to hear Jesus speaking to me tenderly telling me that i am his beloved and that he would fight for me and cherish me... he was inviting me into his arms to feel that love. Which was ideal because at this point the war within my spirit to be loved and to be a part of something was really famished and needed something,,,

 Here is the gorgeous river and trees. really this is where i decided I want to take my kids someday. I want to tell them stories and have them run about and make up make believe worlds and enjoy their lives.

 this is back to the standing stones. for your information these are different locations around scotland.. this waterfall is different than the standing stones and the river is different than both of them

 Here we are at the battle grounds where there was a dire ending,,, but there was very niftly grass huts!

 Lock Ness it this loch here! amazing history and a LARGE tail of a monster that lives in its depths... i definatly got some christmas presents from here ;)

 Lovely girls taking photos from a dangerous ledge haha

 I am at the viewpoint at the fairy glen (this is the real one,) i am at the fairy castle overlooking fairy world.... standing there with the wind wiping around me and feeling so large.

 Another castle by loch Ness

 Back to faery world. this is the fairy castle from below while in the other photo i was on top of it cause i decided to climb it! :) it is a very small pathway...

 within this glen is a sort of magic that got everyone transfixed and in utter awe. its amazing what believing in something unseen can do to you..

 back to the food festival about 2 weeks ago !!! the owl!

 And i saw this in the bus stop and took a picture for IAN CHAPMAN!!! haha

 ANother village on sunday we passed through and there was a waterfall and i fell in love with scotland all over again. look at this river, then this yard with a river and little bridges going over them and vines on the houses ahhh

 this is friday morning.... we happened to have a bit of a fire dril the morning we were leaving for the highlands... luckily i was already awake in order to have a chance to talk to my mom about the baby being born!! wooowoowow

 haha got some broth and bread :) shared with Maya!

 this may have to be my favorite grocery store...

 this is a folklore place... MOM WHERE R U!

 hmmmmm history is here. and me in sandals ;) proper shoes for the highlands! haha untill i fall into the mud puddle and my sandle gets stuck within the depths of the mud! DO NOT BE AFRAID, i got it out !

 her expression is mine...

 Casey and I looking at the view upside down... while forgetting that other people wanted to look at it too...oopsie

 this is the muck that i had a blast jumping in with my sandals one weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 definatly not sure what magic lies here but its there i just know it!

 sides of cliffs are good for me... with my ocrina around my neck i played amazing grace here on the edge of glory

 guess whoo!

 Some awesome history happened here too!!! shoulda taken notes....

 HARRY POTTER BRIDGE i do not need notes for that one hahah

 these are the most amazing soldiers you will ever hear about if you ahve not heard of them look them up immediatly! they are hardcore kinda like sparta! or maybe that was imagination as they told the story... u never know!!! haha they are called the Commandos they wore kilts and no underpants ... thats where we get the term going commando

 Aurelien (french) and i! ha i just had to take a picture with him, it was an opportunity not lost :) he definatly made me laugh the entire trip and is now my great friend! we already had a fight, its going well...

 SHEEEP run away

 what is so cool about this loch??? well... it is in the SHAPE OF SCOTLAND.. check out that map held up by the scottish man Danny! :)

 many movies where filmed here cant recall the titles :) never my strong point! but wow i was so transfixed by the beauty around me i was walking in the rain, and looking out at the water next to the castle and I could feel a sort of mystery and a strong sense of peace rest on my shoulders!

 Marinda :) is absolutly lovely and makes me laugh u will see a funni video soon of this gal

 it was the awe

 me as a princess at the castle overlooking the water,,, what lands do you have for me Lord? what seas may i sail how far will you take me. He tells me here that these are the moments i have he tells me that to see alot i have to see a little, i need to be faithful over this! to translate the faithful to the grateful is a new goal of mine.

 Aurelien and I scamper out of the group and jump on stones to reach the waterfall and explore it ! he then says he is doing laundry as he washes his shoes that got all muddy! he tried to convince me to jump into the waterfall and go through the tunnel,,, and i defnatly thought better of it.

 the ridiculous bridge that is tall enough for the queens ship to go through,, yet she would never ened to go through since there isnt anything to do here. so they send the battleships here sometimes just for the goal of saying that the bridge wasnt a waste of money... which it was... hahaha i like the story of how they used to have to pay a toll to cross it. then no more people where bringing livestock over and something went screwy with the economy so they said you can get across if you have livestock. so people started picking up random sheep and and just saying they had livestock and pointed to their single sheep in the back. this lead to an ongoing joke. we saw a stray sheep by a river and i said o someone musta brought him over the bridge... tut tut

 this is an intriguing picture i bet... the story is way to long it really had all to do with a queen in the castle who was bored.

 Maya's face declares what i feel at this moment, very happy ! we are on a boat fishing... what else would you wanna do right now?

 this is our hostile!!!! i relaly wanna come back here!

 we caught all kinds of stuff and we even shucked the scallops and ate them raw! SUSHI!

 HAHAHAHA Aurelien held these and one pooped on his hand,,, and i cannot describe to you how funny it is to hear someone cuse in french and make really funny faces about a silly poop

 Drance is happy about the huge crab he is responsible for!!! no one got pinched ;)

 Woke up early and sat in the window seat overlooking the Loch at the hostile :) sipping tea

 I volunteered to get the Haggis and Tatties and snips for dinner :) the butcher amde fun of me it was quite hilarious

 Cup a tea in the morning ;)

 Drining from the river of eternal youth! i did it too, someone else took the picture i am waiting for them to give it to me :))))

 we are in some amazing location again. i am the only one really comfortable since i have a stellar rain jacket and did not get completely soaked!

 its the Narnia door!

 Aurelien and I... i was trying to get the picture of his hair cause i made it so it was combed over and he looked like a young boy going to church :)

 this could have been an amzing view if we could see past the fog :) but look at this flower WOOOOO

 funniest museum, a hole in the walll with the randomest quotes on the wall it looks like somehting i  would do if i had a bunch of free time

 back to the fairy glen.... mmmm take it in... it may look like it is miles long but really to get over two hils and past three waterfalls it is a matter of a minute

 FOR Tasha!! ahahhah

 "These may or may not be prehistoric caveman first artistic impressions of the lobster..."

 see the lines in the hills these are fairy roads

Diary 10/9/11: Today was glorious. Standing on the edge of a hill that can be described as the most classic Scottish place to be. I feel a sense of spirit touch my  heart. I breathe in the crsp green I sink into the sound of small trickling fairy waterfalls that fill the grass with life. I cannot imagine a more magical moment as I stand near the fairy castle. What shall i do? shal i go in the spiral and enter fairy world and leaving ours? i am extremely tempted to risk tossing it all. Can ur lifestyle fantasy e set before your very unbelieving eyes and decide just to skip ur senses and go straight for the heart? I felt a sense of letting go, then a feeling of lightness overwhelming me. I began to see more clearly to breathe more deeply and then really walk in a dimension beyound my own. there are not words to describe it. Its more of a left over dew. Its a rainbow in a storm. Today i feel like dreams come true, and that there really should be no veil between us and the unknown, the unfamiliar or even the mist. I was honored to go to the holy lands and see fairys . i pray that someday i can stay and enter a new place....

 The spiral is the entry way into the fairy world. you have to walk along the spiral to enter,, but there really is no way back,, i was very temped to do it,, but i have things to do in this world right about now

 like i said miles and miles are only foot steps away

 everyone was spread out amoung the fairies :) we all came back  together and were silent and still at awe. Aurelien told me how he felt like he has never felt before, it was his favorite place. he later tells me if he could transport only to 4 places this would be one of them. I saw how Jesus really touched everyone this day! especially me he freed me and comforted my heart! filled me up to the brim!

i gave the fairies a gift with a wish that my mom may one day come here!!!

 cool tour guide then the awesome hostile owner!

 Nessi what are you doing!

 On the battle field there grows a flower of hope.

 I definatly had an adventure climbing a mountain away from the group !

 What a river! no words really! just look.

hostile and loch

 fairy glen

 me and the other Euro learn gals!!!!! Maya, Corina, and Holli!

me and the tour guide at the castle of dune! i have coconuts :) recreating the movie monty python!