AMAZING DAY

WOW what do i have to say about today, it was spectacular, i will never use that word the same again. superb and absolutely thrilling. God renovated my heart and took me on a romantic ride through the hills right overlooking the Florentine City! Kayla and I talked about God and what he was doing in our hearts, and I am amazed at the freedom he has done in her heart, it encourages me to want to gain freedom in those same areas. She encouraged me to ask myself questions about beauty and how I see it. I want to change my silly ways of viewing beauty. I want to choose what i deem is beautiful, i do not want to fall into the belief that a size is what makes your beautiful just because i see a certain image posted to me in any sort of media program doesnt mean i need to agree that is the ideal... I am extremely captivated by the beauty that rests within my friend Kayla who is absolutly free in who she is, what she looks like, and she takes every moment to see how she can love those around her. She is continually growing and encouraging me to grow. I want to grow more and more into the woman that God created me to be. I want to know I am beautiful, I want to have deep rooted beliefs in the beauty of the heart. a heart that is free to love, to see the beauty in others and have the opportunity to show them their beauty! rather than having a heart stuffed down because i am trying to make the outward look right before dealing with the heart. NO! outward change starts in the heart. whatever flows out of your mouth comes from your heart, the light that seeps from your eyes comes from your heart.. how do we change our own hearts... it is quit expensive, it means giving up all our complicated moments of trying to understand everything, trying to understand beauty, trying to understand why our hearts are in so much pain, trying to understand why we are moved by tears by small changes in our lives. Giving up that understanding,, and giving up the pride or maybe the diligence or the feeling of strength and humbling ourselves to ask Jesus to renovate our hearts.... to ask him to make this stone into flesh. He has made my heart of stone into flesh. If you stand in a city that is considered one of the most beautiful cities in the world and you are not moved,,, you have a heart of stone, or just a heart that has developed some dirt around the edges and it has crusted over. I needed a deep cleaning of my heart today and I got it,,, dangit I didnt even mean to. I was fighting so hard to hold onto my own ways. I gotta give up the way I believe, i believe in wretched things sometimes like the lie that there is no man for me,, or the lie that i am not beautiful or the lie that anything is really about me, my gosh. this morning i woke up and asked please change me help me. and help me want it.. i donno where tomorrow will bring me or if i will build up more dirt on my newly cleaned heart...but truly it doesnt matter... what matters is, now, that I choose life... I choose to press on for Jesus.. Please forgive me for forsaking you,, for looking around for other love,, for sinking low enough that i cant talk about how low i felt not right now. TOday was a magic day. and that is just what happened inside of my heart... then the atmosphere changed! I enoughed the sunset,,, Kayla and i explored the hills and walked on walls and talked about our moms and our best friends :) We talked about belief and challenges and future. I sketched, it rained, we talked about the best dances of our lives. We gave each other hope. we laughed. we got bread, cheese, olive oil, parsimons, and figs and sat overlooking the Tuscan Country and wrote postcards. We took a bus into town, went in the house listened to the rain pitter-pat on the clay tile roofs, the sound that is only found in FLorence and Santa Barbara. We then went to a restaurant and i ordered frescha pasta that happened to be black... and then my teeth and my lips were black,, and then it was on my hands... I asked if it was on my face and Kayla said yes and that it wasnt that bad.... yet she told me, just now, that it actually was terrible and that she was frightened by my appearance... which is indeed hilarious to me since i enjoy a good scare. I thanked the waitor for my pasta and told him it was good and messy and he said "thank you" i said "Prego" with a confused face and said 'well i guess he is going for the messy i like that we can get along'.... and the jokes continued. We paid for the delicious meal and then galloped to the opera in which we were generously late for. ..and when i saw galloped yes i mean galloped. one foot in front and bounce the other trailing behind as if it were an rutter... the site was hysterical and i believe we had fits of laughter and stitches in our sides.. as i almost got run over by an Italian driver ;). The opera was boggling amazing, sad the lady dies in the end, but they have amazing voicess!!!!! my word. i met some excellent English Folk, i believe i LOVE the English, if your scottish i am sori about this comment, but i have to  be honest. ;)
Then off to more gelato. mmm... and meet some new people in the square, and found some music near the fake David statue who i am quit fond of to say the least "he is my man" we met in vegas (fake yet excellent) and finally got to mee the real mohickan here in Florence:) we danced to be extremely front with you, i did some sort of fake ballet in salute to all that is fake and completely beautiful and giggly... which consisted of leg pointing and Mr. Bean dancing. :) we met some other californians and i am afraid i scared the poor lad by asking him to dance because i could tell he wanted to dance cause he was smiling and blushing :) anyways we met some australians and laughed about silly accent comments... and then kay and I got into an argument which ended in my chasing her up the stairs that could kill a young lively person, and us keeling over and laughing... i donno what is so funni the fact that she thinks I as a person will change when i get married or the fact that i dont think i will, cause i will be the same person maybe i may have different habits but i am still me...you gotta love what you got... anyways moral of the story, it wasnt funni. its silly. and to conclude this evening chat... i look extremely funny when i stuff my chin up to my neck in order to create a double chin and purse my lips and put on reading glasses and speak as the priest in 'Princess Bride" today we are gathered here to witness.. love and mawage. :) cheers and tune in tomorrow for more Italy excursions!